Oh Honey, You Go Ahead, Padlock Your Milk Truck!

I recently was invited to join a group on Facebook called "No More Milk For Free".  It's basically like the saying, who would want buy milk (or the cow), when you're offering it for free.  (And we're not talking about actual milk, which I am a fan of.  Milk has definitely done me good!  Hahaha osteoporosis you won't get me!)  What's being referred to, is actually the other goods!  Them hanky-panky goods that are meant to be enjoyed with your spouse, not all the boyfriends you ever dated.  The group is about promoting purity for singles in a way that glorifies God, instead of grieves Him.

Yikes, look at all those straws dipped in all them milk bottles.  What a mess.  God doesn't want us stickin' our straws in all different kinds of people's milk bottles, LOL!  I am not judging anyone for what they've done in the past, that's over and done with.  Hallelujah, God offers us forgiveness, so accept it, and get movin' towards purity! :)

I know as a single, Christian woman I am supposed to remain pure until marriage, and resist slipping into sins and temptation.  Which for anyone really attempting to go this route, it's really difficult!  A little bit of my personal story is that I am so far from that innocent little girl I once was, that I don't even remember the days when I thought of myself as a princess.  That dream of meeting a boy who'd sweep me off my feet, has long diminished from my mind.

As a teenager, I didn't date a lot, but the guys I did date, didn't treat me great.  To add to it, I didn't think highly of myself.  Then, I wasn't fat, but I was definitely built curvy, when all the other girls my age were pencil thin.  I had select taste in music, which meant I constantly got teased for my musical choices (Hanson fan - 14 years & counting!).  I also had a crazy, buck wild laugh that got me noticed and mocked constantly.  I was close to my dad when I was little, but no longer felt loved by him.  I wanted to be loved and feel I actually had worth, and couldn't wait for a guy to show me that. 

I was looking for a guy to complete me.  I was saved, but felt a deeper yearning in my heart to be loved by a man, instead of my Heavenly Father (big uh-oh!).  It was so important for me to find someone, to matter to someone.  Now, years later, I have never mattered to a guy.  I can't believe the choices I've made in men.  I wanted so bad to be loved, to be desired, to be accepted and embraced--to belong to someone.  It's never happened....yet!  I can't even count the number of times I've had my heart broken.

I have had serious relationships, I have had silly crushes, I have loved guys who I shouldn't have.  It's a true statement to say, I've never been loved by a man, romantically.  Guys have only ever looked at me with lust in their eyes.  I was giving out the milk for free, and couldn't understand why I wasn't loved back.

So, what do I have to lose?  I'll join this group.  Maybe it will help me not to feel so alone.  The first day or so of being in the group, I saw a post that rattled my core.  A guy named Rocky wrote something that struck me so profoundly, I know it was God.  Rocky said he views the opposite sex as his sisters.  As in sister.  Sister.  S-i-s-t-e-r.  There is one man in the world who can be so dedicated to God that he can look at a woman not as a sexual conquest, but as a sister?  Are you freakin' serious?  (I graduated college, okay, I know stuff!)  ...But this concept completely blows my mind.  This guy, God bless him, can look at a woman not as a piece of meat, but as a sister.  I'm still floored by his statement.  More men need to stand up in integrity and look us women with respect, instead of lust.  I can't even tell you how many so-called Godly men tried to get inside my milk truck!

I know that God IS working in this group.  I feel like when I read Rocky's post about this, it was the start of a healing journey for me.  When I read his words, the Holy Spirit just hit me like a ton of bricks.  I feel like God is awakening me to the idea that I don't have to settle for the "boozers, losers, users, & abusers" anymore.  If there is one man of integrity that can look at women with respect, then others must also exist.  I feel this so strongly in my spirit.  God is even at work right this very second, touching me deep within.  The tears are rollin'.

I just want to encourage everyone reading this.  Be strong and rely on God for love and acceptable instead of running into the arms of someone who only wants you for your body.  That milk is too good to be free, so stop that distribution!  Can I get an amen?  I used to think that a guy would only love me if I gave him what he wanted.  But, if I seek God, for a true man of integrity and character, he should look at me and desire more than just the milk.  He'll want to win over my heart and buy the whole milk truck!  AMEN!

I just love the above image of this girl.  She's strong and doesn't take any crap from anyone!  She's like, 'Yeah right, you can't use me!  I'm too good for that; I'm a daughter of the Most High!'  Her milk truck is PADLOCKED, and God holds the keys until she gets married!  Be strong!

If you're reading this and would like to join this Facebook group No More Milk For Free, comment below and I'll add you.

God hints, Let go of that SPIRITUAL BAGGAGE

Over the past several months, my sleeping activity has changed.  I've had lots of restlessness, waking up a lot, and having a lot of bad dreams, nightmares, nasty demonic stuff quite often.  I've always used those moments of drifting off to sleep, to pray, to talk to God.  If the last thing on my mind before bed, are innocent, pure thoughts, then why do I feel like I'm being attacked while I sleep?  IDK why, but I do think God can allow us to have "scary" dreams to awaken us to what He's trying to tell us.  While I was freaked out by this dream, I'm trying to understand why I had it.  There's got to be a reason, a lesson to be learned.

Let me preface this by saying that you need to pray yourself out of "bad moods."  As a Christian, don't simply let a bad mood simmer inside you.  A month ago, I was having a BAD day.  I was at my mom's apartment, alone--and no matter what I did, I wasn't snapping out of my bad mood.  I felt depressed, lethargic, hopeless, etc.  Nothing I seemed to do was improving my mood, so I decided to take a nap about 7pm.  I usually NEVER take naps.  I'll talk more about this in detail another time, but God's been bringing it to my attention that I use use sleep to "numb" or "escape".  Like an alcoholic would drink to escape, I'll sleep to escape my bad mood, etc.  I laid down for my nap, and ended up having this dream.

[DREAM]  The dream was that my Mom was currently renting both an old house, and an apartment--splitting up the time, living at both places.  I don't know the location of each home, but I know they weren't next door to one another.  I was alone at the house with Truth (my dog).  I was sleeping at that house and I couldn't wake up because there was a spirit of heaviness, a demon so constricting over me, covering me like a blanket.  I couldn't wake up!  So, I uttered the name of JESUS over and over and over and over again, until I finally was able to wake up.

After that, I didn't feel safe in that house, that was occupied by evil, controlling spirits.  I decided I needed to get my stuff so Truth & I could get out of that place.  I don't just mean leave for the day, I'm talking MOVE OUT!  The rest of the dream I go through things, and pack things up.  It was an older home, and it was evident that the previous tenant didn't clean up because there was a lot of their stuff, mixed in with my stuff.  I wasn't able to just grab my stuff and leave in a hurry.  I had to sort through the belongings, to determine what was mine, and what was not.  I knew that whatever I brought with, was all I would take.  I remember thinking, to tell my Mom that we should return a final time together and that we would need to BURN the rest of the stuff there!  Weird, huh? [End of dream]

When I woke up in real life, I was freaked out.  It was certainly not a pleasant dream, but it did seem very realistic.  I quickly texted the basics of the dream to my friend, Julia, and also so I'd not forget it.  Immediately, I felt wrong for using sleep to numb myself.  I had been in a horrid mood and basically was just opening up myself, almost inviting bad junk to come in.  YIKES!

When my Mom got off work that night, I talked to her about the dream.  Sometimes we will discuss a dream one of us has had, then the other will interpret it, if we feel led to.  We talked about the dream, then I walked out of the room.  She was still pondering, because she called me back in the room.  What would she say about the dream?  She brought up the point, "Remember the apartment next door?  That lady moved out earlier today."  We saw the neighbors (whom we don't know) move out, and leave.

Then she begin explaining how for instance, if mice or rats occupied a (hypothetical) place, and their source of life (food, crumbs, garbage etc) was gone, no longer meeting their basic needs, they'd move on to the next place that would.  Since we didn't know the neighbor, we cannot know their spiritual beliefs.  But, she suggested, what if there was a bad spirit dwelling in the next-door apartment?  With the tenant moved out, taking all their possessions--that spirit would need a new space to occupy.  I don't know much about "haunted houses" but I definitely believe evil spirits can possess a physical property.  There is so much going on in the spiritual realm that we as humans have no clue!  So, the suggestion that when a tenant moves, a demonic spirit could linger or search for a new place to dwell, is very possible to me.  I don't know for certain, but perhaps that day I felt so ''off'' was because something nasty from next door was trying to latch itself onto this apartment.

But what did the dream mean?  I thought back to the dream-- when I sensed the evil spirit, why didn't I immediately flee?  How could my possessions be more important than my safety?  Was God trying to tell me I place too high of importance in physical things?  My friend, Julia, that I had texted the quick details of the dream, gave me some insight.  Her reply, "It may be more about spiritual baggage you need to kick.  Not material things."  Aha!  Could that be it?  My memory went back to how in the dream I had to rummage through all the belongings in the house.  There was tons of junk.  There were things I didn't even recognize as my own, but they were contained in my shelter.  In order to leave, I had to sift through the items one by one, which was a tedious and time consuming thing.  I didn't just grab a backpack, and throw in a few things to leave with.  There were piles, upon piles of stuff and stuff.  In the dream, I was fully aware of all the garbage around me.  I had to consciously decide what to keep, and what to leave to leave behind.  My actions were dependent on my decision.  Each decision that I made.  ..."Do I want this?"  ..."Do I really need to hold onto this?"  ..."How will I feel if I let go of this?'' I asked myself in the dream.

Spiritual baggage...yes.  God wasn't trying to tell me I'm materialistic, He was trying to reveal that my life is full of too much spiritual baggage.  When the Father asks if you want a lighter load, you don't shrug it off!  Think about it, we all have spiritual baggage.  We all have scars from the past, fresh wounds from today, and insecurities about tomorrow.


As I teenager, I'd get crushes and feel like this guy, or that guy was SO great.  All I could do was think about "us", even if he'd never talked to me or knew I existed, ha!  So if you picture your heart being whole at birth, then when a guy "breaks your heart", you lose a little piece of your heart to him.  You're not whole anymore.  Unless you give that hurt to God, you'll never be whole again!  A guy rejects you, there's a piece.  Your best friend betrays you, there's another piece.  Your parents don't support your dream of being a musician, yet another piece.  All these hurts that we carry around are baggage!  Day after day, year after year, baby, they are gonna get hea-vy!

In my dream, there was so much junk in my life, and all I wanted to do was escape.  I was overwhelmed, scared, stressed out, burdened, and felt so threatened by the multitude of this baggage.  There was no way I'd be able to continue on while clinging to everything.  This is a much broader topic, so I'm unable to discuss it all at once.


I just want to encourage you, that you don't have to be like me in my scary dream.  You don't have to be so caught up in the junk we accumulate, you can have a lighter load!  And, it doesn't have to be all at once.  Think, baby steps!  Maybe reading this will prompt you to forgive someone who hurt you.  You can let go of that luggage of unforgiveness in your mind and heart today, if you choose.  This is also a message to myself, because obviously I had this dream for a reason, and I believe God wants to help me live with a lighter load, and lay down some of these heavy bags I've been carrying!  FREEDOM!!!!

PRAYER:  Father God, let my joy in life revolve around You & Your Goodness, and not on material things.  And Lord, I admit I have been carrying around hurts and offenses, and I don't want to feel the weight of these burdens any longer.  I desire to be free.  Please, Holy Spirit, give me the strength and courage to be able to let go of this baggage.  And even now, if there are certain things I've hid so deep inside of me, that I never dealt with, Lord, bring those to my attention.  Show me how I've been wrong, because I want to change; I want to be free to serve you.  I don't want this baggage dragging me down anymore!  I thank you Father for hearing me, and I have faith to believe You will do this for me!  In your name, AMEN!