A few night ago I had a dream about my future husband. I think it was a dream from God. I wish I would have written this sooner, while it was fresh in my mind, but I'll do my best to recall the details.
In the dream, I was at a church function in Pella, but not a specific place I actually know of. I noticed a guy passionately worshipping God, near me and we began talking. He was attractive, in his own special way. He was a white guy laugh (smiles), he had disheveled hair that was longish--but not ponytail long. I don't want to say he was a sloppy dresser, but he definitely had his own laid-back style.
We began talking and it just felt like we were divinely being drawn to each other. He would say something that sparked me saying something, and so on. It felt like I'd known him my whole life, I felt so close to him, and we connected at SUCH a spiritual level. It was beyond any physical attraction; it was nothing lustful--just such a divine connection. I'd never "clicked' with someone like this before. He just ate up everything I said, and I, hung on his every word. It was obvious that everything I felt for him, he was feeling the same way about me. It was like a mirrored image, as if we were mimicking each other.
Because I felt so intensely close to him, I wanted to just express myself without bounds. Usually I have to hold back because my personality can be overwhelming. I started talking "full on Saraness" when I stopped myself, realizing I just met this guy and I shouldn't lay it all out there and totally be myself. He had the opposite response--he wanted to hear it all! "Lay it on me" he said! It was more than my mind could comprehend that this guy didn't expect me to conform to his likes, or tone down my personality at all! Where had he been all my life? LOL.
As we were talking, he said it was to be his birthday tomorrow. I asked if he'd get to celebrate it with his family. He said something like, "Not unless they drive five hours," alluding to the fact that they did not live near him. When he said, five hours away, immediately I thought: Kansas City.
Then, in the dream, I flashbacked to an earlier time, where I was in Kansas City, at IHOP (The International House of Prayer) during a worship set. I SAW HIM. I thought tonight was the first time I'd ever seen him, but I had seen him before! In the flashback, I saw him doing a worship song. He wasn't the worship leader, he was just doing one song as a special testimony. He was playing solo: singing, playing ukulele, and trying to loop it with a guitar pedal.
Technically, he honestly wasn't the greatest musician, singer, or performer. It was a little awkward, musically. I'm sure lots of musicians could out play him, out sing him--but that didn't matter. He had raw, legit talent. He wasn't polished at all--he was a little rough around the edges. What made him stand out though, was his incredibly passionate heart, that was on fire and completely in love and devoted to the Master! He wasn't there to impress people, he was worshipping for an audience of One. There was such a purity about him, a relentless pursuit, an incredible authenticity in his every utterance. I had seen him. But this was the first time we'd been introduced.
The dream goes back to where it began, with us talking. That's all I remember from the dream. I didn't see beyond this meeting. I didn't see if he asked me on a date. I didn't see a progression of the relationship. Yet, I woke up, exclaiming, ''I just had a dream about my future husband!" I didn't need to dream the rest of it up, because I had such a intense clarity that he was the man God had for me. I had absolutely zero doubts. And I wasn't saying in a puppy dog way, "Ohmigosh, he's the one!!" like a lovesick teen. I knew, that I knew, that I knew...it was him. I had the peace of God sitting on my heart, and no doubt was allowed to enter.
Beyond the dream, I can still picture what he looked like. It's no one I recognized from IHOP, or anyone currently in my life. I think that's beyond the point. I don't think God was giving me a dream, showing me this specific guy as being what my husband will look like--or that he'll specifically come from IHOP. I believe God was showing me, that when He brings this man into my life, we will have a special connection. Why? Because it's God ordained. When I'm with the one God has for me, it won't matter about guys I dated in the past. I believe him and I will, have the type of connection, like in the dream.
Specifically, two things stick out to me. The part of the dream where I want to openly be my true self, then stopped myself, ties in my past and future. In my dating relationships, I've always had to withhold myself at times because I was too loud, too opinionated, too overwhelming, etc. For so long the devil had me convinced, I'd have to change for a guy, because I was just "too much." But God is fighting back and saying loudly, "NO! You are not too much, and the man I have for you, Sara, will not think you are too much to handle. He will love you exactly how you are. You won't have to hold back anymore." Whoa! AMEN to that one!
