As Christians, have you ever noticed when you are trying to pursue a deeper Walk with the Lord, there is that opposition, trying to knock you out? When we ask God for help with something, He usually doesn't give us exactly what we asked for, but rather the opportunity to walk it out. For example, if I'm asking God to purify myself, He probably won't magically clear out all the unclean cupboards in my life--but rather, He'll put me in situations where I can actively choose the right and true option.
I want to share a story that really stirred me up and forced me to question the way I conduct myself. May I preface this with saying that generally, I consider myself fairly conservative. I'm full of flaws, but I certainly don't live a life of a party girl or one of promiscuity. Every now and then I'd maybe wear a shirt that was a little sexy, but being a bigger girl--I've never had a desire to be flashy and show a lot of skin.
Several weeks ago, in the evening I went to run a few errands around town by myself. I left the house with no make-up on, wearing my glasses, and a casual summer dress. The length of the dress fell below my knees & I had on flip flops. It was a v-neck dress, so I had on a tank-top underneath to conceal the goods. The dress was not sexy or tight or alluring at all. I didn't think twice about leaving the house looking how I did.
First I went to the gas station to pump gas. As I was standing there pumping gas, a car with a male driver drove by and turned at the stoplight. His eyes were GLUED on me, and watched me as he slowly drove by--instead of watching the road! It was an older car, not in good condition, a dark colored vehicle. It creeped me out, but I didn't think much of it. I saw he pulled into the McDonald's drive-up as I was leaving to return my DVD at the grocery store nearby.
I drove to the grocery store to return my redbox DVD, but the screen said it was full and could not receive any returns. So the closest place was the McDonald's where the kiosk was inside. As my car pulled into the parking lot, I saw that same car exiting the drive-through lane. His car was pointing to exit the parking lot all together, but then he recognized my vehicle as the one he'd been watching at the gas station moments before, so his car paused to see what I was going to do. I parked, and went inside to return the movie. I prayed he'd be gone when I was ready to leave because it was getting dark out, and this guy's behavior was suspicious.
I go out the door and I immediately see this guy has parked his car right by the exit door, so I have to walk right beside his vehicle to get to mine in the parking lot. His window was rolled down, and I quickly walked past his vehicle and got into mine. I locked the doors and looked at his license plate, which I texted the license plate number to my sister in case I got abducted.
I went to leave the parking lot and it looked like he was going to follow me. I didn't want to drive home and have him follow me, knowing where I lived. So instead, I went the opposite way, following a road out of town. He eventually turned off and I it was a sigh of relief! I'd been praying the whole time and felt really threatened.
I got on the highway to drive to a nearby town to do some shopping. I felt somewhat freaked out after what happened, but I prayed while I drove and figured the rest of the evening would be uneventful. I drove into the JC Penney's parking lot, about thirty minutes before the store would close. Immediately as I pulled into the lot, I noticed a cluster of three of four cars, full of guys, parked closely so they could talk. This group of guys noticed me and I felt a bunch of eyes upon my back as I went to walk inside the store. I prayed to God they would be gone by the time I left the store.
I was in the store about twenty minutes, but when I went to walk to my car, the guys in the cars we're talking loudly and when they saw me walking to my car, they all got quiet and stared at me! It was such a horrible, gross feeling as I stood there, innocent and minding my own business and these guys were lusting after me! I wanted to get a drink at the gas station across the street, but was afraid they'd follow me over there. But I'd rather be thirsty and safe, then sorry!
I hadn't eaten supper either so I wanted to stop and get a sandwich at Subway, but my spirit told me not to stop there! I decided to head back towards home, but first I stopped at a store to grab a snack. There were a couple guys in the parking that gave me weird looks again. I grabbed some snacks and went to the checkout line, where there was a guy checking out. As soon as I stood behind him in line, a man got behind me in line, standing very very close to me. I was uncomfortable, so stepped closer to the guy in front. This guy behind me said to me, "So, how you doing tonight?" in one of the deepest, scariest voices. I looked away and said "Just fine." The cashier even seem surprised he tried to initiate conversation with me. I paid and quickly got out of there.
I felt so disgusting and disturbed in my spirit! As I drove home, God revealed to me that the spirit of lust and perversion was trying to chase me! It started when I was pumping gas, then incident after incident. I felt dirty, like I wanted to go home and take a shower to wash the scum off me! Those guys were looking at me with such lust in their hearts, and that grieves the Father's heart!
So often I think we are unaware of what's going on around us, or how we can easily impact or influence others. Here I was, dressed totally appropriate and got unwanted attention from unclean spirits, and that's not cool with me. It made me question the way I choose to dress, and what messages are sent about me as a person, just by my outer appearance.
I rebuke the spirit of perversion and the spirit of lust trying to chase or consume me, in the name of Jesus! Just because I am choosing a life of purity doesn't mean the enemy can mess with me! Satan is under my feet, and you know what? I am stronger in my spirit than those evil spirits that try to attach to me. Why? Because the Holy Spirit dwells within me, and within all of us who believe! Stay strong, knowing you too, can walk in purity and cast away anything unclean that tries to reach you.
